Irritatingly I'm the one who had to 'go', so I have only myself to blame really.
At the moment I'm really missing someone.
In a way I don't think I've really missed anyone before.
I've missed my family during this semester at university.
There are moments when I've really wanted to go home and lean on them when life has been feeling a bit rough.
But I didn't miss them like this.
I'm missing this person to the point where I'm wanting to just hop on a train to be off for a day in St Andrews before coming back home again.
I often think about them, what it would be like if they were here or of all the little things I'm missing.
The really little things are difficult to be without.
A knowing smile, brushing my hair, holding my hand, making me laugh, creating funny little drawings.
And all the technology keeping us in contact seems harsh and really not enough.
And all the silly things I want to say but which really sound pathetic in comparison to how you feel.
I don't want to sound ungrateful either.
I'm really happy to be back home with my family and to be spending christmas with them.
Everything is familiar and comfortable.
We can just switch back in to our old habits and ways of being with each other like I had never left.
I always feel that my family is closest at this time of the year.
We look back on our year together and let each other know how blessed we are to be together and how much we love and appreciate each other.
I just suppose there's another important person in my life now and it's ok to want to be with them too.
I think being without someone does really test how much you care about them.
I have a friend whose boyfriend is living in a different country from her for a large part of the year.
I always admired their commitment to each other but never really understood how incredibly difficult that must be for her.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder and this heart is feeling very fond.
